


Her Fault

by WhoaaKayy



Category: Covert Affairs
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Mind game, puzzle peice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-29
Updated: 2012-02-29
Packaged: 2017-10-31 22:30:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/349013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoaaKayy/pseuds/WhoaaKayy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crimson stained her body; matted her hair into thick, disgusting clumps. Her eyes were rimmed black with watery makeup, but she wouldn't meet anyone's eye. She swayed where she stood, and as her left heel broke...so did her voice. "He's dead."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Her Fault

The world around her was going to hell, and it was all her fault.

How could she have been so ignorant, so sure of herself that she let a blind man figure out she was tailing him. Sure, he wasn't your run-of-the-mill blind guy, instead being a former top-of-the-line special ops Intelligence Agent—but still, the point was he was _blind_ , but as of that moment she should've been the disabled one.

No one seemed to pay her the slightest attention, which suited her for the moment. The misery and guilt clawing away at her insides was so great she just barely kept a hold of herself. She couldn't break down here, not again.

There would be no friendly neighborhood cruise director to comfort her.

The world around her was going to hell, and it was all her fault.

She let him get away, and now he was gone. Forever.

 

\----

 

He had hounded Joan for hours, begging and badgering and compromising. He must've used every persuasion tactic the Farm taught, including a few of his own he probably made up on the spot.

Just this once, he kept saying. He would never ask again.

If he kept at it, everyone—including himself—knew she would finally give in. To be honest, the sight was beyond heartbreaking, even to Joan apparently, when after the 89th time he mentioned something about it she yelled "Fine, to hell with it! It's your ass on the line!" in a very exasperated, unprofessional manner.

Incredulous silence rang out through the DPD, and Auggie gaped at her.

"Really?" He finally managed to ask. Annie looked between them nervously as Joan nodded.

"You walk out that door in exactly fifteen minutes." She told him firmly, and then he ran—literally bounding off—in the direction of his desk.

"Heads up!" An Agent somewhere in the department called out, making a select few people laugh. Annie didn't have the heart to; she was too moved by her friend's genuine enthusiasm.

He was like a child getting a Christmas miracle, and it made a happy tear roll down her cheek on its own accord.

"My office in _sixteen_ minutes, Walker." Joan said quietly, snapping her out of her haze.

xxx

"I'm so proud of you, Auggie." She told him as she led him towards the awaiting car. "I know you're going to do great."

"I always do," he said with a cheeky smile. "I'll call you when I can, alright?"

She nodded, momentarily forgetting he couldn't see the affirmation. "Sounds good, just be careful." She reminded him gently, holding the car door open as he got inside. He nodded to her.

"Wish me luck?" He asked uncertainly. She knelt down and gave him a kiss on the cheek, squeezing his hand comfortingly.

"You don't seem like the type to need it, but good luck."

xxx

"I want you tailing him Walker, better than you've ever tailed anyone before." Joan said an exact minute later as she set a folder in front of the her. "He'll be handling his ex girlfriend, Natasha. She got in too deep with some communications hacking deal. Listen to me, Annie." She said gravely, leaning forward in her chair. "I want you to be his eyes, backwards and forwards. He needs to have perfect vision for this, understand? Don't trust anyone but him, don't question anything he does. If he jumps out of a speeding car, you better be right there behind him, understand?" Annie nodded, slightly intimidated. Joan's never been this outwardly protective of an Agent before, at least not that she's seen.

xxx

This was easy, she thought as she sipped her coffee. They had met up in the park around noon, took a short stroll to get reacquainted with each other, and were now having lunch in the café across the street. No one else had been following them besides herself, and Auggie looked like he was having the time of his life.

Natasha was very good-looking, Annie thought absently as she watched her through the window. With dark brown curls and warm brown eyes, she looked like a girl you could take home to your mom. She wondered if they had dated before Auggie's accident. Judging by the uncomfortable look that just wouldn't leave her face, she guessed that they did.

Oh well, she wanted to say to the girl. This was Auggie's time to shine.

They finished and walked along the streets for a little bit, window shopping. She trailed behind aimlessly, looking for big potential thugs wanting to take them out. None came though, and it was turning out to be a pretty nice day.

Doing a casual 360 spin, she checked her surroundings carefully before turning down the alleyway the two had walked down moments before. Suddenly, arms grabbed at her, muffling her cry of surprise as the assailant pinned her against the grimy wall.

"Annie?" He asked, astonished. " _You've_ been tailing me all day?" His arm was pressed against her lower neck, just brushing the pressure point in her throat. It wasn't necessarily restricting her airflow, but it did make her feel paranoid and awfully uneasy.

She'd have to ask him to teach her that, and how he was so effectively restraining both her arms with only one hand.

"J...Joan—" She choked out, and he unconsciously pressed his arm harder into her throat. "A...Aug, pl-please—" she clawed at his arm, and he grudgingly removed it.

"You're fine," he spat, "it has more effect on your mind than your actual intake of air." She took a deep breath and massaged her neck as he walked away from her.

"I know, but that doesn't make it feel any better." She mumbled. Before she knew it he had her up against the wall again, seething, but at least this time he steered clear of her neck. Instead of asking her another question like she thought he'd do he groped at her ears, finding what he was looking for quickly: her earwig.

"Hi Joan," he said into it angrily. "Thanks for sending the rookie after me."

He slammed the earwig into the wall next to her head, crushing it beneath his hand. She cried out in fear and squeezed her eyes shut, how did this side of Auggie exist without her knowledge?

"I'm sorry," he murmured sadly. He kissed her forehead then, and she was faintly reminded of _her_ Auggie, but when she opened her eyes to try and reason with him he was gone.

xxx

"What do you mean he got _away_ from you?" Joan yelled as she slammed the file she'd been reading down. Annie winced and looked down at her feet. "Tell me again how it happened."

"He...they were window shopping—and I was watching carefully, but he must have noticed me or—or something."

"How could you let this happen?" Joan yelled again, glaring at her. Annie bit back a cry. "These people are _dangerous_ , Annie! They have an arsenal at their fingertips and they're _trained_. They could surround him before he even realized he was in danger!"

"Give him a little credit, he found me." She reasoned, instantly regretting her words at the livid expression consuming Joan's face.

"Yes, he found the barely trained rookie who's greener than a patch of grass!" She practically screamed. Annie wanted to crawl out of her skin and run away from the older woman's wrath; she couldn't believe this was happening.

"I'll—I'll find him." She tried desperately. "Again, I'll find him...again."

Joan snorted and shook her head disbelievingly, turning her back on her.

"I promise."

She raced out of Joan's office, no longer caring if the woman granted her permission to go back out there or not. She could lose her job, her reputation, but she would _not_ lose her best friend.

Again. She wouldn't lose him...again. She had to keep reminding herself of that.

According to the file Joan had given her hours ago they were supposed to board a train and go across the tri-state area, make an exchange, and come back. She'd go to the train station first, she decided. She'd figure out what time his train left—or if by God of all miracles what time it would _leave_ —and then she would peel out of there like a bat out of Hell.

She would find that train, she promised herself.

She kicked off her heels as soon as the elevator reached the ground floor, no longer concerned over what happened to them as they lay pitifully in the middle of the hallway. If she found them when she got back only then would she bother with them, and that would simply be to toss them carelessly out of Auggie's way as she led him back into the DPD proudly.

She skidded to a halt as she neared the front doors, stupefied. Men and women who should've been walking purposely were frozen, staring in horror.

She almost couldn't believe it as she heard Joan screaming for her to come back, but here she was.

Here Natasha stood in the dead center of the grand entryway like a grotesque picture, her head bowed; her clothes torn. Crimson stained her body; matted her hair into thick, disgusting clumps. Her eyes were rimmed black with watery makeup, but she wouldn't meet anyone's eye.

She swayed where she stood, and as her left heel broke...so did her voice.

"He's dead."

"Annie?" Someone called out to her. She didn't really care if it was Jai Wilcox or either Campbell wanting to yell at her some more. They might fire her if she didn't come running, but she just couldn't bring herself to care.

"Annie!" They called louder, but they didn't matter. They weren't him, it wasn't her Auggie. She took one last fleeting look at the monstrous figure of the girl who she had once considered pretty so many hours ago, forcing herself to remember.

She screwed up. She was too late.

This was her fault.

" _ANNIE WALKER!_ "

She jumped and screamed in spite of herself, terrified. She searched for the blood-stained Natasha frantically in the midst of the blurry images muddling her mind. She had to find her, to remind herself, to make this _real_.

"Welcome back to the world of the living, Walker." She heard someone quip sarcastically.

She focused on Joan standing a little ways away from her, smiling sardonically with just a hint of concern touching her eyes. She tentatively followed her icy gaze as it flicked over to the large object standing in front of her chair, smirking.

Auggie.

" _Auggie_!" She screeched, launching herself at him. She seized him, knotting her hands in his jacket as she sobbed into his shoulder. As soon as his arms encircled her, however, the days' events swam in front of her eyes. She flew out of his embrace with a screech and clambered back to her chair fearfully.

"What the hell?" She asked him brusquely. "What are you trying to do to me?" She asked Joan, her voice rising hysterically. "What—What—"

"Annie, _Annie_." Auggie said, kneeling down. He found her shoulders and shook them roughly. "Look at me, what happened?"

" _You're dead!_ " She shrieked loudly, ignoring him as she tried to pry herself out of his firm grasp. "You're dead, you're dead, you're—"

"Walker!" She froze and stared up at Joan, petrified. Auggie's fingers had gone slack around her shoulders at her words, but she wasn't paying attention. Joan was glaring at her, reminding her of how it felt when she had lost _him_.

"I didn't mean to lose—I promise I'll—I'll—" She broke free of Auggie's hold, his hands falling limply to her sides. She lunged at Joan with tears in her eyes, clinging to her. "All my fault," she managed through sobs.

Silence rang out through the DPD: stunned, perfect silence.

"Shh," Joan cooed after taking a moment to reorient herself. She carefully rubbed the younger girl's back. "Come on, Walker. It's only a dream." Annie shook her head violently, sobbing and mumbling unintelligibly. "It's not real, Annie. Wake up now."

"No, no...Aug—I—No...Auggie—" She cried, burying her head deeper into Joan's shoulder.

"He's right here, Annie. Alive and well, you have to wake up to see him."

No one moved, it seemed. Everyone was frozen, waiting with bated breath for their favorite rookie to come back. Each and every one knew what she was going through, but nothing like this had ever happened in the department before.

What felt like an eternity later she lifted her head, blinking blearily. Mild surprise registered on her face when she noticed her close proximity to Joan, gracefully flourishing into embarrassment and humility when she saw Joan's wet shoulder and critical blue gaze.

"You're something else, Walker." She said appraisingly as she walked out of the booth, seemingly pressing the "play" button on the department as she entered her office.

Annie took a deep breath and hugged herself, looking around the tech booth uneasily. Which side was real, this or...or—

"Annie?" He called out uncertainly, putting a hand on her shoulder. She jumped and whirled around, grinning instantly.

"Auggie!"

This time he hugged her, gathering her up in his arms so quickly it took her a moment to realize she had moved. He held her tightly, burying his head in her shoulder. She sighed and inhaled the scent that was purely him, feeling safe at last.

"I'm sorry," he murmured into her neck. "I didn't know you cared so much, I—It's over now, you'll never have to worry about me again."

She hugged him tighter, trying her best not to cry.

This side had to be real...it just had to be.

Didn't it?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: don't own.
> 
> Originally posted at FF.net on August 7th, 2010.
> 
> Hauling everything over because I go on here more than FF.


End file.
